Birthday Letters Essay

In the three texts the characters that are presented as ‘new women’ are also presented with a downfall, those who are presented as traditional women are seen to survive and do well. Within the three texts, Dracula, A Street Car Named Desire and Birthday Letters, the authors present the female characters within certain ways which allow us as the audience to look closely at the battle of equality between men and women and the rise of feministic views. However the battle isn’t always apparent and some female characters allow themselves to be the inferior characters compared to the male characters who take on dominant roles within their relationships. Within the three texts a downfall of death is presented, this is always presented to those women who are presented as New Woman. Feminism – ‘is a movement for social, cultural, political and economic equality of men and women. It is a campaign against gender inequalities and it strives for equal rights for women. ‘1 Within the three texts we are presented with many female character types, A Street Car Named desire, allows its audience to compare and contrast its female characters. We are presented with Blanche who is on first appearances seen as a New woman ( A women of the late 19th century actively resisting traditional controls and seeking to fill a complete role in the world2) she lives by herself, has no male role controlling her life and makes her own decisions, however it isn’t too much later that we learn a different aspect of Blanche, she becomes a character that needs a man to keep a roof over her head and food in her mouth. We are easily able to compare Blanche with her sister Stella, who is a women that presents traditional roles however some times does challenge these, Stella lives with Stanley and allow him to control her life, he tells her what to do and she takes on stereotypically traditional roles within the house. However we do see some New Woman actions within Stella’s character such as when Stanley hurts her she runs away however this is then counter parted with Stella returning to Stanley. In the end it is Blanche that has the biggest downfall within the novel and we are left with the question of is this because she present’s a post- feministic woman? This question can also be placed when looking at Dracula, Lucy is presented to the audience as a very sexually aware female she is also shown to have less traditional views on marriage – ‘why cant they let a girl marry three men or as many as want her and save all this trouble’3, Lucy is also like Blanche presented with the biggest downfall within the novel, she is controlled by Dracula and even killed more than once. Sylvia Plath like Lucy and Blanche also are presented with death within the novel, Sylvia could be seen to have the biggest downfall of all three of the characters, it is not only physical but also a mental problem. Hughes talks of his and Sylvia Plath life journeys through his poetry and we come to understand the life style that they lived, Plath’s death is central to Hughes poetry and we are able to understand the kind of women Sylvia is, she is shown as a weak women who needed her husband by her side, when he fails to do so she becomes weaker and commits suicide. However we can see the power that Plath had on Hughes due to the high impact that Sylvia’s suicide had on his poetry – ‘Years after your death’4. Plath’s downfall doesn’t seem to be due to her position as a women it is presented within the opposite, she is a traditional women and this causes her problems. Dracula sees a downfall for its female characters in the way of death, Lucy is killed by a male character. Arthur Holmwood buries the stake deep in Lucy’s heart in order to kill the demon she has become and to return her to the state of purity and innocence he so values. The language with which Stoker describes this violent act is unmistakably sexual, and the stake is an unambiguous symbol for the penis. In this way, it is fitting that the blow comes from Lucy’s fianci , Arthur Holmwood. Lucy is not only being punished for being a vampire but also being available for seduction by Dracula himself, who we can recall has the power to only attack a willing victim. When Holmwood slays the demonic Lucy, he returns her to the role of a legitimate, monogamous lover, which reinvests his fianci e with her initial Victorian virtue, again degrading Lucy’s female role, needing a male character to take care of her to the end of her life. Lucy Westenra, is first presented to the audience as an out going, sexually aware, less traditional women. In many ways, Lucy is much like Mina Murry. She is a paragon of virtue and innocents, qualities that draw the attention of three men to her. However Lucy does differs from her friend in one key area, which makes her much of a New Women, Lucy is sexualised. Lucy’s physical beauty captures the attention of the three men, which is where she displays a comfort of playfulness about her desirability. This is displayed in an early letter to Mina when Lucy states ‘why can’t they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save her all this trouble’. This presents the idea that Lucy has troubles that she cannot and will not meet, going against the New Women model. Stoker presents this simple, small idea of Lucy’s instability to a huge volume when he describes the undead Lucy as a ‘creature’ of a ravenous sexual appetite. Lucy is presented as a dangerous threat to men and their self control, Lucy’s second death returns her to a harmless state presenting her again with purity, assuring the men that things are exactly how they are suppose to be. Lucy presents the idea of the ‘new woman’ to the reader, she is also represented as a creature when she is a vampire. Dracula succeeds in transforming Lucy and becomes a vampire vixen, Van Helsing’s men see no other option than to kill her, in order to return her to a purer, more socially respectable state. After Lucy’s transformation, the men keep a careful eye on Mina, worried they will lose yet another model of Victorian womanhood to the dark side. It is here seen that Lucy is a model female until she is turned into a vampire. Late in the novel, Dracula mocks Van Helsing’s crew, saying, â€Å"Your girls that you all love are mine already; and through them you and others shall yet be mine. † Here, the count voices a male fantasy that has existed since Adam and Eve were turned out of Eden – that women’s ungovernable desires leave men poised for a costly fall from grace. Women through out Dracula are shown as something that men own and something that can be used as a bargaining tool. Blanche like the female characters within Dracula is also presented as a object by Stanley when he attacks her, however when Blanche is with Mitch alone he treats her in a way that she expects as a New Woman ‘Can I-uh-kiss you-good night? ‘5 with dignity and respect, this isn’t however carried through out the whole novel. Blanche doesn’t accept males help through out the play and tries to hide the things that she has done before, this adds to her downfall which allows her to become more and more depressed and pushing towards her downfall. Which we can also assume this happens to Plath, Hughes talks of their past and their lives together, this allows us as the audience to know what events happened to add to Plath’s depression and her death. Looking at other sources we find out that ‘Ted Hughes, had left her for another woman’6which then pushes Plath to her suicide. This goes against the idea that the Downfall of woman is due to woman being post feminist woman. The three texts all see big punishment for its three leading ladies, this influences them in many ways and pushes them all towards their deaths. In the 1880’s and the 1890’s saw the publication of many studies in psychology and sexology. For example, Dr. Krafft-Ebing, a German sexologists †medico-legal study† Phychopahia Sexualis, documented hundreds of cases of divergent, ‘deviant’ sexuality, listing, cataloguing and typing each individual. Under ‘Sadism in Women,’ he describes case 42, a women’s who sexual history prefigures that of Stoker’s Lucy: ‘ A married man presented himself with numerous scars of cuts on his arms. He told their origins as follows: When he wishes to approach his wife, who was young and somewhat ‘nervous,’ he first had to make a cut in his arm. Then she would suck the wound, and during the act become violently excited sexually’. Most critics agree that Dracula is, as much as anything else, a novel that feeds on the Victorian male imagination, particularly concerning the topic of female sexuality. In Victorian England, women’s sexual behaviour was dictated by society’s extremely rigid expectations. A Victorian woman effectively had only two options either she was a virgin or she was a wife and mother. If she was neither of these, she was considered a whore. A women never had the right to choose which kind of life style she wanted to have, she was simply labeled if she didn’t conform, we can see this with Lucy when she must choose who she wants to marry she simple states that in her ideal world ‘Why can’t they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble. ‘7 This is very degrading, Lucy, is stating that she wishes she didn’t have to make a choice and she wishes that her life was all laid out for her, however it could be argued that she wants this because of her personality rather than her fate. By the time Dracula lands in England and begins to work his evil magic on Lucy Westenra, we understand that the impending battle between good and evil will depend upon female sexuality, both Lucy and Mina are less like real people than two-dimensional embodiments of virtues that have, over the ages, been coded as female. Both women are chaste, pure, innocent of the world’s evils, and devoted to their men. But Dracula threatens to turn the two women into their opposites, into women noted for their voluptuousness-a word Stoker turns to again and again-and unapologetically open sexual desire. Blanche within A Street Car Named Desire is also presented as a sexual desire from Mitch and even Stanley. Mitch likes her not only for her looks but who she is ‘I like you to be exactly the way that you are8’ Mitch doesn’t think of Blanche in a sexual way until later on in the play. Blanche’s fear of death presents itself in the fear of her ageing and loosing her beauty. She refuses to tell anyone her own age ‘ why do you want to know’9 Blanche seems to believe that by continually asserting her sexuality towards men especially those who are younger, she will be able to avoid death and return to the world of teenage bliss that she experienced before her husband committed suicide. However, beginning in Scene One, Williams suggests that Blanche’s sexual history is in fact a cause of her downfall. When she first arrives at the Kowalskis’, Blanche says she rode a streetcar named Desire, then transferred to a streetcar named Cemeteries, which brought her to a street named Elysian Fields. This journey, the precursor to the play, allegorically represents the trajectory of Blanche’s life. The Elysian Fields are the land of the dead in Greek mythology. Blanche’s lifelong pursuit of her sexual desires has led to her eviction from Belle Reve, her ostracism from Laurel, and, at the end of the play, her expulsion from society at large. Sex and death are intricately and fatally linked within Blanche’s experiences through out the novel. In Scene One, Stanley throws a package of meat at his adoring Stella for her to catch. The action sends Eunice and the Negro woman into peals of laughter. Presumably, they’ve picked up on the sexual innuendo behind Stanley’s gesture. In hurling the meat at Stella, Stanley states the sexual proprietorship he holds over her. Stella’s delight in catching Stanley’s meat signifies her sexual infatuation with him. This also shows Stella in light of the new woman, however Stanley is the one initiating the sexual activity again pushing Stella back into her traditional role. Stella tries on many occasions pushing herself into the role of the new woman however Stanley always fails to allow her to do so. A Streetcar Named Desire presents a sharp critique of the way the institutions and attitudes of postwar America placed restrictions on women’s lives. Williams uses Blanche’s and Stella’s dependence on men to expose and critique the treatment of women during the transition from the old to the new South. Both Blanche and Stella see male companions as their only means to achieve happiness, and they depend on men for both their sustenance and their self-image. Blanche recognizes that Stella could be happier without her physically abusive husband, Stanley. Yet, the alternative Blanche proposes-contacting Shep Huntleigh for financial support-still involves complete dependence on men. When Stella chooses to remain with Stanley, she chooses to rely on, love, and believe in a man instead of her sister. Williams does not necessarily criticize Stella-he makes it quite clear that Stanley represents a much more secure future than Blanche does. Five: contextual information linking to the authors and the characters. The decade in which Stoker wrote and published Dracula was one of the unprecedented anxiety and uncertainty about the social roles, sexual nature and natural spheres of activity of men and women. As many women fought for a larger role in public life and a bigger challenge towards the traditions that define women as being, passive, domestic and naturally submissive, the debate opened to men and the males natural role. While Victorian feminists advanced on previous male preserves, crossing boarders and redefining categories, the more conservative press reacted by reiterating gender normalities, insisting that the essential differences between the sexes and their separate duties. Stoker deliberately located the gothic horror of Dracula in the late nineteenth century world of technological advances, gender instability and the rapid increase in conversation. Mina Travels with a portable typewriter which presents her with power and knowledge of a skill such as writing, which today we take for granted.

The Basis of Economics

Japan has performed a miracle. The country's economic performance following its crushing defeat in World War II is nothing short of astounding. The economic expansion of Japan is second to none. All of the elements are in place for Japan to continue increasing its share of the world's wealth as America's gradually declines. The country is on track to becoming the world's largest economy. How did Japan do it? There are many theories and studies that have traced the Japanese miracle without success. The answer to the mystery can by examining Japan's culture, education, and employment system. Japan's success is not just a case of good technique and technology in business, but a real recognition and development of the necessary human skills. A better understanding of the Japanese society provides the framework to understanding the workings of Japanese business (and possibly the Japanese mind. ) The ayes of the Japanese provide a foundation for their economic adaptability in modern times. Japan is a culture where human relations and preservation of harmony are the most important elements in society. It is their sense of identity and destiny, which gives their industrial, machines its effectiveness. Among the Japanese, there exists an instinctive respect for institutions and government, for the rules of etiquette and service, for social functions and their rituals of business. Japan is a traditionally crowded island; the people are forced to share the limited space with each other and to live in harmony. The Japanese are very protective of their culture. They are very conservative to outside intrusion. Their distinctive ways are a source of pride and national strength. Japan's striving for purity is very different form a North American idea of open doors and diversity as strength. Accordingly, one of the main sources of Japan's strength is its people's willingness to sacrifice, to be regimented and homogenized, and to subordinate personal desires to the harmony of the working group. The Japanese people have had to become a group-oriented society. While in the western world, individuality and independence are highly valued, Japanese society emphasizes group activity and organization. The people accept that they will belong to one social group and work for one company for life. The crowded island conditions have driven society to value conformity. The culture that Japanese people are brought up in causes them to recognize that they have to work together to succeed. Only harmony will provide improvement. This development of the human nature and attitude relates directly to Japan's business practice and provides a basis for good business relations. Japan's education system has grabbed the world's attention as it is specifically designed to teach the children skills and aptitudes to give them an edge in the business world. The educational system, based on the principle of full equality of educational opportunity, is widely recognized as having greatly contributed to the prosperity of Japan by providing a highly qualified work force supplemented by extensive in training programs by many of the major employers. The primary and secondary educational system is probably the most comprehensive and most disciplined in the world. Where North American students attend school 175 days a year, Japanese students attend 240 days. Japanese students attend elementary and secondary school six days a week and for two months longer each year than North American students. In addition, they have long hours of homework. A large majority of Japanese students attend Juki, or preparatory schools, in the evenings and on Sundays. In higher education, while lacking the strong University system which exists in North America, the curriculum is equally rigorous, and Japan is graduating 75 000 engineers per year, 3 000 more than the U. S. , from a University population one fifth the size. The education system itself is a unifying force. It molds children into group oriented beings by demanding uniformity and conformity form the earliest ages. The attainment of excellence within this complex environment, and the importance it holds for one's future is stressed early. This emphasis places a great burden on the young to perform well in school a to earn admittance to high status universities. The public school system not only produces good, obedient citizens, it produces good workers. A willingness to give oneself to the corporation's best interest, to arrive early and stay late, and to produce good work is attributes learned in the Japanese schools. Those who cannot learn these skills do not do well in school or do not rise in the ranks of the corporate world. The education system is an excellent example of how the Japanese recognize and develop the necessary human skills that are needed in society and stressed in the business world.

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Experiment 5 - Lab Report Example The solar cells are not only cheap, but they are also safe for the environmental use because they do not result in pollution. In electrolyzing water using solar energy, dye-sensitized photovoltaic cells are used. The sensitizer absorbs light that excites the chromophore leading to the production of electrons that undergo a series of processes within the cell to produce electric current for electrolyzing water. It is hypothesized that dyes or quantum dots can be used to sensitize the semiconductor oxide films of a solar cell to generate electricity (Gratzel 6841). Thus, this experiment aims to construct a dye-sensitized solar cell and to measure its current and voltage as well as using the cell to convert light into electricity for electrolysis of water. The materials required for this experiment included a multimeter for measuring resistance, a candle flame for producing carbon powder, and a piece of wire for connecting glass layers. Two pieces of glass and a piece of tissue paper are also required. The chemicals included ethanol for removing dirt on the surfaces of the glass, anthocyanin dye, titanium dioxide paste, potassium triiodide (KI3) electrolyte. In addition, a lab coat, goggles, and tongs were required for safety reasons. We assembled the cell in the first lab session and determined the current and voltage. During this process, we identified the conducting side of a tin-oxide piece of glass by a multimeter and wiped off the surface with an ethanol-moistened tissue to remove dirt. We then added a small amount of titanium dioxide paste and heated the glass on a hot plate in a hood for 20 minutes until it turned green. On cooling to room temperature, we introduced anthocyanin dye. We coated the second piece of tin oxide glass with carbon powder by passing it through a candle flame. After which, we assembled the two glasses by putting the coated sides together

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Decisions at the End of Life - Essay Example The mode of Palliative care i.e. the comprehensive care of the patients whose disease is not responding to cure in today's scenario should be done only by proper practice procedures to safeguard the concerns of the physician, nurses and the patient. Studies have conformed that patients want information about their illness and end of life choices (McSkimming et.al, 1994). The case of Nancy Curzon helped enormously to the evolution of 'laws on medical practice'. Nancy Curzon was a young woman involved in a car crash after which she remained in a persistent vegetative state. Inspite of a three year legal battle by her family to have her feeding tube removed to let her die, the U.S Supreme court decided that a state requires a "Clear and Convincing Evidence" of the patient's wishes before withdrawal of life-support. This gave rise to the 'Patient's Self-Determination Act, Dec. 1991'. The intent of this legislation is to encourage people to prepare 'Advance directives' in which they indic ate their wishes concerning the degree of supportive care to be provided if they become incapacitated. 'Advance directives' are legal documents that specify a patient's wishes before hospitalization and provi

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The case for Bainbridge Borough - Essay Example First and foremost, this person will undergo intensive labour to deliver the baby. This entitles the person to have some time to rest in order to be able to recover from the pain likely to be experienced during the period of giving birth. Secondly, the mother needs to nurse the newly born baby by suckling her and providing other necessary gentle care. Instead, Carol was offered two consecutive 90-day reasonable purpose leaves which amounted to 6 months of leave. This is a relevant contract provision which states that leaves of absence for a limited period without pay—not to exceed 90 days—shall be granted for any reasonable purpose. What Carol wants is leave to be with her adopted baby so this unpaid leave is just as good as maternity leave. In other words, it can be seen that Carol just wants to be controversial over nothing since she has been given another alternative to maternity leave which is specifically meant for mothers who have given birth naturally. 2. As an attorney for AFSCME Local 10, I think the council’s rejection of Carol’s unpaid maternity leave request violated the collective bargaining agreement. Article X, Section 4.A which deals with issues related to maternity as indicated by the final agreement between Bainbridge Borough and Local 10 state that maternity leaves not to exceed 6 months shall be granted at the request of an employee. As stipulated in this provision, it can be seen that Carole has requested for the leave, therefore she should be granted the opportunity to get it. Maternity leave covers various issues related to child bearing and rearing hence Carol should also be granted this leave since she intends to take care for her newly adopted baby. The baby needs mother care and this is the reason why I believe that Carole should be granted the leave. The refusal by the council to grant Carol this leave can be regarded as discrimination since the law is very clear that this leave can be granted to the

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Swine flu is a lab-made virus - Essay Example f the Influenza is known to comprise genetic elements from swine flu, human flu and bird flu strains spanning across three continents and there has been considerable speculation over concerns and suspicion that this strain of the virus was manmade. It is also not unreasonable to question whether governments across the world that has been spooked with the prospects of radical changes in the global climate and with an ever increasing population in the planet, have amassed a top secret method to engineer a virus that has is aimed at correcting the human population through the spread of this virus. Experts argue that such a possibility is technically probable. The US Military is known to have engineered and unleashed such viruses both for test purposes as well as in a quest to gain ground as part of strategic initiatives in enemy territory. However, that does not mean that one must point the first finger straight towards them. However, such a stance on the part of governments would mark a crime against humanity that is aimed intentionally towards unleashing biological weapons into the open (Gina Kolata, 2007). However, this also leads one to believe whether governments have been indulging in crimes against humanity on a routine basis. The US is the only known country to have dropped nuclear bombs on civilian populations during the Second World War. Israel is known to have made use of white phosphorus in its fight against the Palestinians. Hitler sent millions of Jews to the gas chambers and Americans used to fire rounds made of depleted uranium into Iraqi targets and Afghanistan. As such, unleashing a biological weapon in a huge city such as Mexico city is no big deal beyond the current capabilities of today’s governments in achieving what they intend to do (Ethne Barnes, 2008). All along human history, almost all crimes against humanity are known to originate from the deeds of governments – whereby most of such crimes have been committed in the name of peace,

Advertising Shape Social Trends Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 4250 words

Advertising Shape Social Trends - Essay Example The essay "Advertising Shape Social Trends" discusses how the technological development playing a role in the continuous development of advertising and promotional activities of companies across various sectors. From a general perspective, advertising is not only important to promote the offering of any company in front of their customer, but at the same time it is important for the organizations to established reasons in the mind of the customers regarding why their own product of services is better than that of the competitors. Another key point associated with the importance of the advertising is it â€Å"Sell the Sizzle, Not the Steak†. It is an old thought associated with the advertising industry, but it still stands true. The most common goal of any advertising campaign is to sell the added benefits associated with any product or service. One can easily understand this concept associated with the advertising. Any individual can choose or purchase a number of soaps for them as there are many brands in this industry. To make any brand stand high above the rest in terms of attracting people’s eye organization need to focus on attractive as well as out of the box promotional activity. One such example is of Irish Spring. In their advertisement, they â€Å"claim not only freshness and cleanliness, but according to the woman from the ad, it's Manly, yes, but I like it, too, so it’s for both sexes. A company selling something knows you can probably get that something anywhere and you can get many versions of it".

Patient Assessment Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Patient Assessment - Essay Example His blood pressure was 150/98. Mentally the patient was disturbed by symptoms of disease that he had been experiencing for along time. He was also very stressed at work due to a busy schedule and had resulted to excessive drinking to address his mental problems. He is also disturbed by the fact the he cannot stop smoking. He is chain smoker. Socially the patient was stable as he showed that he integrated with people at the place of work and outside the work place. Being a manager, the patient interacted with a lot of people. He did no show any signs of social problems. He is a member of two social clubs. In the context of the society, the patient has a stable social life. He is contented with the position he holds in the society being a manager. His relationship with other societal members is also very stable. Using the Orem Model of nursing if assessed Mr. Parker to get more information about the development of type II diabetes. Using the following interpersonal skills, I was able to assess Mr. Parker further to get more information concerning his problem. I my assessment I was able to talk to Mr. Parker in a way that I showed him that there was a way out of the problem. Therapeutic communication in nursing dictates that you talk to the patient using constructive words which give the patient the hope to recover. The communication process should encourage the patient to the recovery path rather than portraying a doom about their conditions. Mr. Parker had a believer that his life would turn out to be very difficult since he had been diagnosed with a terminal diseases. To get more information about him in order to get the root cause of the disease I created a confidential atmosphere to Mr. Parker by assuring him that there was need to give me all his information in order for me to come up with the best nursing strategy for him to help him solve the problem of smoking and drinking. (b) Active listening To get more information from Mr. Parker, I had to listen to attentively and logically try to connect all the information that he gave me. As I listened to his story I realized that Mr. Parker's problems did no stop with excessive drinking and smoking. His problems went further to include nutritional problems and lack of physical exercises. I realized that being a manager, Mr. Parker was always busy from early morning to late hours working for his company. He lacked time to have physical activities and time to have healthy diets. Through active listening, I was able to gather all the information from him and at the same time related the information to get the root cause of his type II diabetes. (c) Conveying knowledge and information As we talked, I explained to Mr. Parker the relationship between his problems. I explained to him why he had developed the condition owing to his lack of exercises, lack of healthy diets, excessive drinking and smoking. I explained to him that eating junk foods leads to accumulation of fat in the body. Junk food contains

Theory integration on 3 terrorism cases Term Paper

Theory integration on 3 terrorism cases - Term Paper Example The theories on terrorism are also too varied, such as to defy an integrative understanding of the phenomenon. This paper will therefore explain the orthodox and non-orthodox theories on terrorism, applying these to three known cases of terrorism. Analytical discussion will try to show that the hypothesis is valid and relevant. Orthodox terrorism theories Terrorism is a highly debatable issue. Its complexity emanates from the primeval nature of man to sow lethal violence against his kind. It is estimated that the 18th century French Revolution gave impetus to modern terrorism that led to the upsurge of contemporary terrorism with its state, interstate and global dimensions. Thus far, orthodox theories on modern terrorism have been used to understand cases of terrorism, but these have been subjected to debates. In an in-depth analysis, Jason Franks opened up a discussion of the Orthodox Terrorism Theory or theories, proposing a more comprehensive non-orthodox understanding of the phen omenon which be applicable in the many years to come. For Franks, the Orthodox Theory is capable of answering the questions what makes up terrorism and how it can be countered. However, he notes that the Orthodox Theory fails to adequately answer why it happens. ... o coerce and intimidate governments to accept political, religious or ideological objectives, and secondly in defence of the terrorist act as when Hezbollah leader Sheikh Fadlallah described terrorism as â€Å"fighting with special means against aggressor nations in religious and lawful warfare against world imperial powers.† ( Kramer n.p.). The situation shows that it is difficult to establish a sound foundation for research and policy on terrorism. This may also suggest that resolving the phenomenal rise of terrorism may continue to meet difficulties in the times ahead. To be fair, the Orthodox Theory on Terrorism has merits. It comprises the western model of understanding terrorism along the human ideals of liberty, rule of law, and democratic life in society. It is also a practical concept in dealing with acts of terrorism as threats to state authority. The Orthodox Theory has laid down three useful themes on terror acts, namely (a) Functional, as embodied by the Theory of Provocation, or the belief that terrorism aims to provoke a response from a repressive state by means of strategies that will radicalize citizens against government (Laqueur 72) (b) Symbolic or the explanation that terror acts have image- value under the idea of â€Å"terrorism in theatre† (Jenkins 132), and (c) Tactical as terrorists use strategies along short-term objectives such as hijacking, as well as long-term objectives to advancing the broader cause of revolution. In spite of merits derived from the Orthodox understanding of terrorism, Franks perceives that this approach needs to be improved owing to the new terroristic environment which has pushed terrorism beyond the state into interstate and global boundaries. The alternative terrorism theory Improving on the orthodox theory, Franks

Women as Property and Marriage as Slavery (responses) Assignment

Women as Property and Marriage as Slavery (responses) - Assignment Example Also, I agree with Anthony’s arguments on the need to list women in the property rights and ownership. This is because men are less responsible in managing property and children through their ill behaviors of drunkenness and licentiousness. In this case, women stand a greater chance of suffering in the society given that they depend on men for daily bread and property. That is why Anthony states, â€Å"Most prosecutions in our courts concern breach of promise, divorce, adultery, bigamy, seduction and rape.† I disagree with John Stuart Mill’s arguments on the subjection of women. It is essential for women to have rights and freedom of existence in a free world. The legal subordination of women to men due to the natural acts that state, â€Å"The conquered should obey the conquerors† should be a forgotten past. Women and men should have a perfect equality where both have powers, privileges, independence and development records on a personal ground (Mill 74). I also support the arguments of Engels on the need to create a worker-run state socialism where there would be formation of trade and wage labor unions and abolish capitalism. Engels derived his argument from the fact that women suffered inequality in a capitalist society where there was inequality in workplaces and homes. He states, â€Å"The division of labor between two sexes is determined by quite other causes than by position of women in the society.† Consequently, the society should empower women since they take part in agriculture, amassing surplus wealth and property yet they are not entitled to ownership in the government (Engels,

Importance Of Privacy Scale Survey Essay Example for Free

Importance Of Privacy Scale Survey Essay A survey is a systematic process by which data is collected from or about people, places, or things with a description, comparison, and/or explanation relating to their knowledge, stance, and behavior. The process is made up of seven different activities: setting objectives in order to collect data, designing the study, preparing an unfailing and official survey mechanism, administering the survey, managing and examining the survey data, and eventually reporting the results. (Fink, 2002) The survey is conducted by inquiry where people give consent to be asked specified questions and they give answers as well. It may be completed orally, in written form, or visually. Surveys are also conducted visually to examine people’s reactions to a specific model. For example, surveys may be conducted to see how people react to the taste of certain juices. It is obvious that most people would not like a bitter juice while others will like juices like lemonade, which is sour, or kool-aid which is often sweet. In this specified survey, it is concerning issues with regard to intrusive measures of privacy in effort of preventing future terrorist attacks. Politicians need to be aware of how the public feels regarding these issues. The wording or phrasing of the questions allows the consenting public to give very direct answers concerning these issues. If the wording were different, the answers may be very vague; therefore, the poll would not obtain the results necessary to make the right improvements to take the essential measures to ensure safety. Also if the right survey instrument is not used, it may manipulate the survey negatively which makes it invalid and useless. It is very important to use the right methodology pertaining to the topic of the survey to acquire accurate results. By wording questions very similar, it allow the surveyor to attain a confirmation of the previous question making the answer more valid and more definite. I used this repetitive strategy for this reason and also to help eliminate bias that is sometimes found in conducting surveys. (â€Å"Opinion Poll†, 2009) The purpose of this survey is to provide the public with very basic questions concerning the approval of taking intrusive measures to aid in the prevention of future terrorist attacks. Politicians and the government alike are eager to know how the public feels about the topic of invading privacy for this reason and in order to obtain that specific information this survey is necessary. Works Cited Fink, A. (2002). The Survey Handbook. Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc. Fink, A. (1995). How to Analyze Survey Data (Survey Kit, 8). Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, Inc. Opinion poll. (2009, March 27). In Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. Retrieved 02:39, March 31, 2009, from

The employment relationship Essay Example for Free

The employment relationship Essay This essay explores and discusses the employment relationship while considering the value of a systems approach to industrial relations and the fact that individuals view issues from a particular frame of reference. The employment relationship is developed on an inter-related basis involving economic, social and legal dimensions of wider society (Fells, 1989). Organisations are subject to the economic conditions in which they operate. Employers rely on the availability of suitable labour to perform the work of the organisation and although viewed as a commodity by the employer, significant investment in the development of the employee can be lost or unused should the employee decide to leave or remain unmotivated. The unavailability of suitable labour can lead to segmentation of the labour market and a division of labour at the workplace. The division of labour is the breaking down of work into its smallest components in order to achieve effective specialisation, minimal worker discretion and the most efficient output (Sutcliffe and Callus, 1994). This division of labour can have far reaching implications for the management and the organisation, including the control and motivation of the workforce. The legal dimension is concerned with the law of contract between an employer and employee which enables the parties to enter into and enforce agreements (Fells, 1989). By its very nature the employment contract implies a subordination relationship where the employer commands and the employee obeys. The introduction of the Workplace Relations Act 1996 also implies legal boundaries in which the employment relationship must operate (for example the rules relating to unfair dismissal and enterprise bargaining). The social dimension, unlike the economic and legal dimension, is one that chiefly impacts on employees. There are two aspects to this dimension according to Fells (1989), the first being the impact of society on the workplace and secondly employees experiencing management pressures at the workplace as well as pressures from other individual employees who work within a team environment. It is clear that most of us want more out of a working relationship than just a monetary return for our labour. An employer must also provide a job that can stimulate and challenge the worker. Many jobs however are mundane and boring which is a consequence of the increasing division of labour in our industrial society. Industrial relations in a broad sense, is about the behaviour and interaction of people at work. It is concerned with how individuals, groups, organisations and institutions make decisions that shape the employment relationship between management and labour (Deery and Plowman, 1991). It is also closely entwined with political, economic and social forces (Salamon, 1992). As a consequence, people differ in their approaches and views on industrial relations which as a result can lead to industrial conflict. Fox in 1966 attempted to explain the reasons for the differing views of industrial conflict by management and the public, by proposing a frames of reference concept in his paper to the UK Royal Commission on Trade Unions and Employer Associations (Berrell, 1999). Fox believed that some people view industrial relations as a class conflict, others in terms of mutual co-operation and others still in terms of competing interests of various groups. Three approaches were identified: unitary, pluralist and marxist. The unitarian approach believes that industrial relations is based on mutual co-operation, individual treatment, team work and the sharing of common objectives (Stone, 1996). Conflict in the workplace is seen as an anomaly which has occurred because of either union activity, poor management decisions or practice or employees who dont fit the organisations culture. Conflict resulting in strikes for example, is not only considered as unnecessary but destructive. As result, unions are regarded as competitors for employees loyalty and commitment. In essence the unitarian approach is seen as a management ideology which legitimises their authority and control. It blames conflict on employees and threatens unions existence. It is manipulative and exploitative (Horwitz, 1990). In contrast, the pluralist approach accepts the inevitability of conflict (Deery and Plowman, 1991). It sees organisations as coalitions of competing interests where managements role is to mediate amongst the different interests groups. It sees unions as a legitimate representative of employee interests. Management authority under this approach is not automatically accepted. Employees join unions to promote their interests and influence management decision making. As unions are considered to be important in their role of balancing the power between employers and employees, they are considered not only desirable, but necessary. Societies interests at large are protected by state intervention through legislation and industrial tribunals which provide orderly processes for the regulation and resolution of conflict. The marxist approach like pluralists regard conflict between management and employees as inevitable. However, where pluralists see conflict as inherent within all organisations, marxists see it as a product of capitalist society. Adversarial relations in the workplace are seen as simply one aspect of class conflict. Unions under this approach, are seen as instruments for challenging the capitalist system of class domination. By assimilating a persons behaviour to one of the three frames of references, it determines how we would react and shapes the method for altering such behaviour. As a tool for understanding a parties behaviour when conflict occurs we need to undertake a social action perspective, that is to suspend our own judgment when analysing the cause of conflict and accept the persons frame of reference. Individually, our frames of references are molded and influenced by a multiplicity of variables including, values and behaviour, education, political views, work experiences and religious beliefs to name a few. Our position in the class structure and status hierarchy almost certainly has a significant influence as well (Keenoy and Kelly, 1995). It is important to understand these concepts as employers and employees bring to the employment relationship different strategies to gain as much as they can from the relationship. This in turn makes the relationship inherently competitive. Fells (1989) observes that this points to the duality of the employment relationship. Both the employer and employee put their resources, motives, expectations and own interests into the relationshipthese being influenced by the social and economic structure of society (Fells 1989, P 476). In essence therefore, conflict can arise because of the parties differing social and economic interests and strategies. Keenoy and Kelly (1996) take this further by describing the three great struggles which results from the distribution of authority (inherent in an organisational hierarchy) and the division of labour which are sources of potential conflict and competition within the employment relationship. These are identified as the struggle over interests, control and motivation. Abraham Maslow in his hierarchy of needs theory argued that individuals sought to satisfy basic needs required to live; that is food, warmth and shelter (Bartol et al 1995). An employee therefore, seeks is in his/her strategy to satisfy their basic needs for survival. Once satisfied, the employee seeks to improve their social standing by earning more money and purchasing material symbols to demonstrate their success. In contrast however, is the organisations strategy to run an efficient and cost effective business. The nature of the employment relationship is such that the employees interest in maximising income is in direct conflict with the employers interest in minimising costs (Keenoy and Kelly 1996). However, both parties in the relationship are equally dependent upon each other for without labour there is no profit and without capital this is no jobs. This is simply termed structured antagonism as the relationship produces both mutual and conflicting interests. Fells (1989) argues that a frontier of control exists between an employer and employee which is born out of the legal, social and economic pressures effecting the distribution of power within the employment relationship. It represents the point of confrontation and interaction between the structure of management control and the challenge from organised labour (Storey, 1980 p 12). The struggle for control arises out of the vagueness of the employment contract, as it rarely specifies the parameters and preciseness of the work to be performed by the employee in exchange for payment (for example, level of effort and range of duties). Both parties tend therefore to have their own expectations as to what has been initially agreed upon and as such, this vagueness can often lead to conflict. In response, the employers strategy is to set up an array of control mechanisms, one being the hierarchy of authority where people are employed to supervise the work of others. This act in itself can lead to tensions within the employment relationship as industrial conflict often occurs when employees challenge the limits of managerial authority. Variations in the degree of control is also apparent within many jobs. For example production line workers experience tight control mechanisms whereas politicians, doctors and lawyers experience little or no control over their particular functions. This last group especially enjoy an elevated position in the hierarchy of authority and a high level of control and autonomy over their work (Kennoy and Kelly, 1996). As a result, conflict may occur over the inability of an organisation to provide a suitable career path which allows an employee access to a higher level of authority within the hierarchy. Securing employee commitment can be a difficult task for an employer as not all employees are motivated to work by monetary rewards alone. Although theorists have argued that motivation is the key to employee behaviour and productivity, work undertaken by the likes of Frederick Herzberg and his two-factor theory have largely been ignored due to the advantages of increasing the division of labour over the benefits of increasing employee satisfaction (Keenoy and Kelly, 1996). Management are faced therefore with a dilemma over ensuring employees remain sufficiently motivated to ensure job effectiveness whilst maintaining the cost effectiveness and efficiency of the organisation. Increasing market competition and a greater emphasis on quality and service provided to customers, may force employers to redefine their strategies towards motivation of their employees. Up to this point the employment relationship has been discussed in terms of its dual nature. However, it is clear that a more holistic approach is required. A systems approach provides a useful look at the employment relationship because it expands on the dual focus to include a third group of actors and the environment within which the relationship operates. John Dunlop proposed an industrial relations system comprised of actors operating within an environment influenced by technology, economics and power distribution. The system is bound together by both ideology and rules to govern behaviour. Three main groups of actors have been defined as managers, workers and their representatives and other bodies concerned with the relationship between workers and employers. The major output of the system is a set of rules and regulations that apply both in the individual workplace and in the wider work community. (Deery and Plowman, 1991). Dunlops industrial relations system has been criticised from a number of quarters (Margerison, 1969; Bain and Clegg, 1974; Hyman) for paying insufficient attention to conflict focusing more on conflict resolution than the root of the conflict, and for suggesting that the industrial relations system is naturally stable. Despite these negative views the system perspective of industrial relations remains valid if only as an analytical tool (Deery and Plowman, 1991). The employment relationship is a unique but fundamental feature of modern society. It commences when an employer engages an employee to perform work in exchange for money. Although this concept of the relationship appears simplistic in nature, it is subject to many stresses and strains brought about by political, social and economic interference. Bibliography Bain, G.S Clegg, H.A, 1974, A Strategy for Industrial Relations Research in Great Britain, British Journal of Industrial Relations, Vol 12, no. 1, p92. Bartol, K.M., Martin, D.C., Tein, M Matthews, G. 1995, Management a Pacific Rim Focus, McGraw-Hill, Sydney. Berrell, M. 1999, Subject Book: Industrial Relations, Monash Distrance Education Centre, Monash University, Churchill, Vic. Deery, S.J. Plowman, D.H. 1991, Australian Industrial Relations, 3rd ed., McGraw-Hill, Sydney Fells, R.E., 1989, The Employment Relationship Control and Strategic Choice in the Study of Industrial Relations in Labour and Industry, Vol 2(3), October pp470-492 Fox, A. 1980, Industrial Relations: A Social Critique of Pluralist Ideology in Barrett, B., Rhodes, E and Beishon, J. (eds), Industrial Relations in the Wider Society; Aspects of Interaction, Collier MacMillan, London. Horwitz, F.M., 1990, HRM: an ideological perspective, Personnel Review, Vol 19, No.2 pp 10-15. Hyman, R., 1975, Industrial Relations: A Marxist Introduction. MacMillan, London. Keenoy, T. Kelley, D. 1998, The Employment Relationship in Australia, 2nd Ed. Harcourt Brace and Co, Sydney. Margerison, C.J., 1969, What do we mean by Industrial Relations? A Behavioural Science Approach. British Journal of Industrial Relations, vol 7, no.2, , p273 Salamon, M. 1992, Industrial relations Theory and Practice, 2nd Ed, Prentice-Hall, London. Stone, R. 1995. Human Resource Management, 2nd Ed, John Wiley and sons, Brisbane. Storey, J. 1980, The Challenge to Management Control, Kogan Page, London. Suttcliffe, P. Callus, R. 1994, Glossary of Industrial Relations Terms, ACIRRT and ACSM, Sydney, Brisbane. Industrial Relations Assn 1 pg 11

After Apple Picking Analysis English Literature Essay

After Apple Picking Analysis English Literature Essay After Apple Picking has a lot of different rhyme scheme which causes the tone of the speaker. This tone sets you in the authors point of view and makes a clear picture of what he has written. Frost uses a lot of figurative language and diction to make his poem more interesting and it catches the reader. The purpose of the poem is to talk about life and death. He uses certain poetic devices to get you into the living spirit and as it goes by it gets slower and sadder. Causing a dramatic change in the tone of the reader. This fits perfectly into the poem because the purpose of the poem is to talk about life and death. So the tone of the poem is perfect along with the poetic devices that Frost uses to make his poem more interesting. Frost makes the purpose of his poem very clear with all of the devices he uses. In this poem Frost uses a lot of figurative language, this helps him make his poem a lot more interesting. He uses it quite often in his poem and it gives it that extra spark to make it better for the reader. In line 40 he uses a personification, The woodchuck could say whether its like his long sleep.. He gives the woodchuck a voice when they cant really talk. Frost also uses a lot of imagery which brings out the five senses of the reader themselves. He describes the sound of the apples in the bins being tossed in. He describes the feeling of the ladder swaying as the boughs bend. He describes the apples, Magnified apples appear and disappear, Stem end and blossom end. Frost uses a lot of big words. Frost uses the word drowsing to describe how he is about to fall asleep. He uses the word hoary to describe the frost on the grass and the beautiful scenery that his eyes are seeing. This paints a picture for the reader. The theme of this poem is to look at life in a good way and not be so negative about it. Frost is telling us to be happy and try to enjoy life and live life to the fullest. We need to enjoy life. Life is short and can be taken away from us in a matter of time. We never know when our lives will end. We dont need to be so negative about things. Frost is enjoying the little things in life such as picking apples during his day. Life can be fun and enjoyable if we look at the little things in life and enjoy those things. Look at the small and not worry about the big things that can ruin our lives. These poetic devices make Frosts meaning of his poem more noticeble. The diction makes the description more dramatic and interesting. If he did not use these devices the poem would have no real meaning to the readers or even the author. Frosts imagery brings out the picture to the readers and makes it fun and enjoyable to read. The meter and the tone is set and makes the tone that the reader wants a reality. The poem is slow and rhymes every other line which cause that slow and sad tone that he meant for. The use of these devices fits the mood perfectly and paints a picture for the reader to sit back and enjoy the poem.

AIDS and Heterosexuals in the Australian Essay -- homosexual, health,

Study Overview The study entitled From complacency to panic: AIDS and heterosexuals in the Australian press, July 1986 to June 1988 (Lupton, 1992) reports on the preliminary findings from a content analysis of AIDS news coverage in Australian press from June 1986 to July 1988. When revealing the preliminary varying ideologies in press, Lupton stresses the importance of evaluating how the popular media selects and presents news according to societal interests. Lupton (1992) seeks to point out the common situation in Australia that most people lies on information reported by the media rather than by health professionals. She continues to use this study to illustrate if media reporting has a significant impact on shaping public attitudes and behaviour. Her study expresses a concern that the popular press has increasingly resorted to publishing false and sensational stories related to human health without factual evidence that often results in provoking panic within audiences. In order to create AIDS i nto a media sensation for the audiences, newspapers have long inclined to entertain and misinform readers by putting its blame on promiscuous heterosexuals, homosexual men, and intravenous drug users. The view of Lupton (1992) is in accord with this idea and she further seeks to explore if it applies to the Australian press in this study. The study undertakes a content analysis with all articles mentioning AIDS in Australian newspapers published between 1986 and 1988. The research demonstrates that the press generally helps the amplification to reporting AIDS as a spread to heterosexual population by supporting the first public health information campaign called the ‘Grim Reaper’ campaign (Ibid). The ‘Grim Reaper’ campaign used horrible... ...er concern towards heterosexuals in press reporting and failure of increased level of hostile treatment are worth being applied to Lupton’s study in particular (Goode and Ben-Yehuda, 1994). Bibliography Hansen, A., Cottle, S, Negrine, R., Newbold, C. (1998) Mass Communication Research Methods. Basingstoke and London: Macmillan Press Ltd Goode, Erich and Nachman Ben-Yehuda (1994) Moral Panics: The Social Construction of Deviance. Oxford, UK: Blackwell. Lupton, D. (1992) From complacenct to panic: AIDS and heterosexuals in the Australian press, July 1986 to June 1988 in Helath Education Research Theory and Practice. 7(1): pp9-20. Lupton, D. (1994) Moral Threats and Dangerous Desires: AIDS in the News Media. New York: Taylor & Francis Ltd. Summer, C. (1979) Reading ideologies: an investigation into the Marxist theory of ideology and law. London: Academic Press.

The Market Orientation of Coca-Cola Essay -- Business Management Studi

The Market Orientation of Coca-Cola I had researched the information by contacting the Coca-Cola's customer service help-line for an information pack and by contacting The Coca-Cola Company's Industry and Consumer Affair's officer (Alneka Warren) by email. I have also visited the Business library for further information relating to Coca-Cola and used various textbooks and various web sites from the internet. The two marketing orientations are: 1. Product orientation 2. Market orientation Product orientation This can be defined as "An approach to business which places the main focus of attention upon the production process and the product itself" (Needham & Dransfield 1995). Market orientation Market orientation is defined by Ian Chambers as "A market orientated business is one which continually identifies, reviews and analyses consumer's needs." Market orientation is reflected on the Coca-Cola Company's mission statement: "Consumer demand drives everything we do." Another brief from their mission statement includes "We will serve consumers a broad selection of the nonalcoholic ready-to-drink beverages they want to drink throughout the day." Coca-Coca has an "action orientation", instead of waiting for change to happen it is at the leading edge, driving action forward. Findings A market orientated organisation like Coca-Cola would: ? Know what its customers, consumer, client needs. As they know people like Coca-Cola and want it available to them. ? Understand ...

Child Observation Essay -- Child Development Project

Leroy is a 2nd grade African American student at Martin Luther King Elementary School. He is 8 years old and lives with his mother and two older brothers. His favorite school subject is math. He likes to play video games and basketball, especially when he is playing with his friends. Leroy’s favorite holiday is Christmas, for he gets to visit his grandma and enjoy all the delicious foods that his mom and grandma cook. When asked where would he go if he can go anywhere, he responded with Skate Park. He likes to skate around the park with his brothers. Leroy wishes to be like his older brother when he grows up. Leroy is a competitive student even among his friends. He likes to read at the same table as his friends or in the same room with them. When his friends are present, Leroy is more cooperative. He follows instructions, and he puts more effort into his readings. He wants to perform better than his friends; however, once he begins to struggle, Leroy loses his motivation to succeed in the task. According to Svinicki (2005), Leroy’s behavior and attitudes portray a student with a performance goal. To be more specific, a student with a performance approach goal, for Leroy’s main interest is to appear competent. The main reasons for the effort he puts in are to surpass his peers in order to receive recognition and attention. After determining Leroy’s goal orientation, my goal was to encourage him to shift from performance approach goal to achievement goal. I believe shifting Leroy’s goal orientation will benefit Leroy in numerous ways. He will be intrinsically motivated to read, which will increase his engagement in the reading games that we perform together. When he is engaged in learning the contents for himself, h... ...uring challenging tasks. In order to encourage Leroy to shift his goal orientation from performance approach goal to mastery goal, a variety of supports may need to be provided. Leroy needs to learn in an environment that minimizes competition and supports failures as learning opportunities. He needs to witness his accomplishments and recognizes that it is his effort and not ability or inability that resulted in his success. It may take some time for Leroy to shift his goal orientation from a performance approach to an achievement goal, but I believe with the right support and encouragement, Leroy will be able to develop a mastery goal. Works Cited Dweck, C.S. (2007). The perils and promises of praise. Educational Leadership, 65(2), 34-39. Svinicki, M. (2005, February). Student goal orientation, motivation, and learning. Idea paper #41, Idea Center.

The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 5. Invitations

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire†¦yes, I had both. I was doing everything correctly now. Every â€Å"i† dotted, every â€Å"t† crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities. To please Esme and protect the others, I stayed in Forks. I returned to my old schedule. I hunted no more than the rest of them. Everyday, I attended high school and played human. Everyday, I listened carefully for anything new about the Cullens – there never was anything new. The girl did not speak one word of her suspicions. She just repeated the same story again and again – I'd been standing with her and then pulled her out of the way – till her eager listeners got bored and stopped looking for more details. There was no danger. My hasty action had hurt no one. No one but myself. I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other choice that I could live with. Alice said that I would not be strong enough to stay away from the girl. I would prove her wrong. I'd thought the first day would be the hardest. By the end of it, I'd been sure that was the case. I'd been wrong, though. It had rankled, knowing that I would hurt the girl. I'd comforted myself with the fact that her pain would be nothing more than a pinprick – just a tiny sting of rejection – compared to mine. Bella was human, and she knew that I was something else, something wrong, something frightening. She would probably be more relieved than wounded when I turned my face away from her and pretended that she didn't exist. â€Å"Hello, Edward,† she'd greeted me, that first day back in biology. Her voice had been pleasant, friendly, one hundred and eighty degrees from the last time I'd spoken with her. Why? What did the change mean? Had she forgotten? Decided she had imagined the whole episode? Could she possibly have forgiven me for not following through on my promise? The questions had burned like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed. Just one moment to look in her eyes. Just to see if I could read the answers there†¦ No. I could not allow myself even that. Not if I was going to change the future. I'd moved my chin an inch in her direction without looking away from the front of the room. I'd nodded once, and then turned my face straight forward. She did not speak to me again. That afternoon, as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran to Seattle as I had the day before. It seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning everything around me into a green blur. This run became my daily habit. Did I love her? I did not think so. Not yet. Alice's glimpses of that future had stuck with me, though, and I could see how easy it would be to fall into loving Bella. It would be exactly like falling: effortless. Not letting myself love her was the opposite of falling – it was pulling myself up a cliff-face, hand over hand, the task as grueling as if I had no more than mortal strength. More than a month passed, and every day it got harder. That made no sense to me – I kept waiting to get over it, to have it get easier. This must be what Alice had meant when she'd predicted that I would not be able to stay away from the girl. She had seen the escalation of the pain. But I could handle pain. I would not destroy Bella's future. If I was destined to love her, then wasn't avoiding her the very least I could do? Avoiding her was about the limit of what I could bear, though. I could pretend to ignore her, and never look her way. I could pretend that she was of no interest to me. But that was the extent, just pretense and not reality. I still hung on every breath she took, every word she said. I lumped my torments into four categories. The first two were familiar. Her scent and her silence. Or, rather – to take the responsibility on myself where it belonged – my thirst and my curiosity. The thirst was the most primal of my torments. It was my habit now to simply not breathe at all in Biology. Of course, there were always the exceptions – when I had to answer a question or something of the sort, and I would need my breath to speak. Each time I tasted the air around the girl, it was the same as the first day – fire and need and brutal violence desperate to break free. It was hard to cling even slightly to reason or restraint in those moments. And, just like that first day, the monster in me would roar, so close to the surface†¦ The curiosity was the most constant of my torments. The question was never out of my mind: What is she thinking now? When I heard her quietly sigh. When she twisted a lock of hair absently around her finger. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she rushed to class late. When she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Each movement caught in my peripheral vision was a maddening mystery. When she spoke to the other human students, I analyzed her every word and tone. Was she speaking her thoughts, or what she thought she should say? It often sounded to me like she was trying to say what her audience expected, and this reminded me of my family and our daily life of illusion – we were better at it than she was. Unless I wrong about that, just imagining things. Why would she have to play a role? She was one of them – a human teenager. Mike Newton was the most surprising of my torments. Who would have ever dreamed that such a generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating? To be fair, I should have felt some gratitude to the annoying boy; more than the others, he kept the girl talking. I learned so much about her through these conversations – I was still compiling my list – but, contrarily, Mike's assistance with this project only aggravated me more. I didn't want Mike to be the one that unlocked her secrets. I wanted to do that. It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He'd created a Bella in his head that didn't exist – a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans, he didn't hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around – loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice when she feigned interest in his rambling stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind that patience. Through her conversations with Mike, I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most revealing of them all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good. All the other things added up to that whole – kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brave – she was good through and through. These helpful discoveries did not warm me to the boy, however. The possessive way he viewed Bella – as if she were an acquisition to be made – provoked me almost as much as his crude fantasies about her. He was becoming more confident of her, too, as the time passed, for she seemed to prefer him over those he considered his rivals – Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and even, sporadically, myself. He would routinely sit on her side of our table before class began, chattering at her, encouraged by her smiles. Just polite smiles, I told myself. All the same, I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the room and into the far wall†¦ It probably wouldn't injure him fatally†¦ Mike didn't often think of me as a rival. After the accident, he'd worried that Bella and I would bond from the shared experience, but obviously the opposite had resulted. Back then, he had still been bothered that I'd singled Bella out over her peers for attention. But now I ignored her just as thoroughly as the others, and he grew complacent. What was she thinking now? Did she welcome his attention? And, finally, the last of my torments, the most painful: Bella's indifference. As I ignored her, she ignored me. She never tried to speak to me again. For all I knew, she never thought about me at all. This might have driven me mad – or even broken my resolution to change the future – except that she sometimes stared at me like she had before. I didn't see it for myself, as I could not allow myself to look at her, but Alice always warned us when she was about to stare; the others were still wary of the girl's problematic knowledge. It eased some of the pain that she gazed at me from across a distance, every now and then. Of course, she could just be wondering what kind of a freak I was. â€Å"Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal,† Alice said one Tuesday in March, and the others were careful to fidget and shift their weight like humans; absolute stillness was a marker of our kind. I paid attention to how often she looked my direction. It pleased me, though it should not, that the frequency did not decline as the time passed. I didn't know what it meant, but it made me feel better. Alice sighed. I wish†¦ â€Å"Stay out of it, Alice,† I said under my breath. â€Å"It's not going to happen.† She pouted. Alice was anxious to form her envisioned friendship with Bella. In a strange way, she missed the girl she didn't know. I'll admit, you're better than I thought. You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you're happy. â€Å"It makes plenty of sense to me.† She snorted delicately. I tried to shut her out, too impatient for conversation. I wasn't in a very good mood – tenser than I let any of them see. Only Jasper was aware of how tightly wound I was, feeling the stress emanate out of me with his unique ability to both sense and influence the moods of others. He didn't understand the reasons behind the moods, though, and – since I was constantly in a foul mood these days – he disregarded it. Today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before, as was the pattern. Mike Newton, the odious boy whom I could not allow myself to rival, was going to ask Bella on a date. A girl's choice dance was on the near horizon, and he'd been hoping very much that Bella would ask him. That she had not done so had rattled his confidence. Now he was in an uncomfortable bind – I enjoyed his discomfort more than I should – because Jessica Stanley had just asked him to the dance. He didn't want to say â€Å"yes,† still hopeful that Bella would choose him (and prove him the victor over his rivals), but he didn't want to say â€Å"no† and end up missing the dance altogether. Jessica, hurt by his hesitation and guessing the reason behind it, was thinking daggers at Bella. Again, I had the instinct to place myself between Jessica's angry thoughts and Bella. I understood the instinct better now, but that only made it more frustrating when I could not act on it. To think it had come to this! I was utterly fixated on the petty high school dramas that I'd once held so in contempt. Mike was working up his nerve as he walked Bella to biology. I listened to his struggles as I waited for them to arrive. The boy was weak. He had waited for this dance purposely, afraid to make his infatuation known before she had shown a marked preference for him. He didn't want to make himself vulnerable to rejection, preferring that she make that leap first. Coward. He sat down on our table again, comfortable with long familiarity, and I imagined the sound it would make if his body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of his bones. â€Å"So,† he said to the girl, his eyes on the floor. â€Å"Jessica asked me to the spring dance.† â€Å"That's great,† Bella answered immediately and with enthusiasm. It was hard not to smile as her tone sunk in to Mike's awareness. He'd been hoping for dismay. â€Å"You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica.† He scrambled for the right response. â€Å"Well†¦Ã¢â‚¬  he hesitated, and almost chickened out. Then he rallied. â€Å"I told her I had to think about it.† â€Å"Why would you do that?† she demanded. Her tone was one of disapproval, but there was the faintest hint of relief there as well. What did that mean? An unexpected, intense fury made my hands clench into fists. Mike did not hear the relief. His face was red with blood – fierce as I suddenly felt, this seemed like an invitation – and he looked at the floor again as he spoke. â€Å"I was wondering if†¦well, if you might be planning to ask me.† Bella hesitated. In that moment of her hesitation, I saw the future more clearly than Alice ever had. The girl might say yes to Mike's unspoken question now, and she might not, but either way, someday soon, she would say yes to someone. She was lovely and intriguing, and human males were not oblivious to this fact. Whether she would settle for someone in this lackluster crowd, or wait until she was free from Forks, the day would come that she would say yes. I saw her life as I had before – college, career†¦love, marriage. I saw her on her father's arm again, dressed in gauzy white, her face flushed with happiness as she moved to the sound of Wagner's march. The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain – a human would not live through it. And not just pain, but outright rage. The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant, undeserving boy might not be the one that Bella would say yes to, I yearned to crush his skull in my hand, to let him stand as a representative for whoever it would be. I didn't understand this emotion – it was such a tangle of pain and rage and desire and despair. I had never felt it before; I couldn't put a name to it. â€Å"Mike, I think you should tell her yes,† Bella said in a gentle voice. Mike's hopes plummeted. I would have enjoyed that under other circumstances, but I was lost in the aftershock of the pain – and the remorse for what the pain and rage had done to me. Alice was right. I was not strong enough. Right now, Alice would be watching the future spin and twist, become mangled again. Would this please her? â€Å"Did you already ask someone?† Mike asked sullenly. He glanced at me, suspicious for the first time in many weeks. I realized I had betrayed my interest; my head was inclined in Bella's direction. The wild envy in his thoughts – envy for whoever this girl preferred to him – suddenly put a name to my unnamed emotion. I was jealous. â€Å"No,† the girl said with a trace of humor in her voice. â€Å"I'm not going to the dance at all.† Through all the remorse and anger, I felt relief at her words. Suddenly, I was considering my rivals. â€Å"Why not?† Mike asked, his tone almost rude. It offended me that he used this tone with her. I bit back a growl. â€Å"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday,† she answered. The curiosity was not as vicious as it would have been before – now that I was fully intending to find out the answers to everything. I would know the wheres and whys of this new revelation soon enough. Mike's tone turned unpleasantly wheedling. â€Å"Can't you go some other weekend?† â€Å"Sorry, no.† Bella was brusquer now. â€Å"So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude.† Her concern for Jessica's feelings fanned the flames of my jealousy. This Seattle trip was clearly an excuse to say no – did she refuse purely out of loyalty to her friend? She was more than selfless enough for that. Did she actually wish she could say yes? Or were both guesses wrong? Was she interested in someone else? â€Å"Yeah, you're right,† Mike mumbled, so demoralized that I almost felt pity for him. Almost. He dropped his eyes from the girl, cutting off my view of her face in his thoughts. I wasn't going to tolerate that. I turned to read her face myself, for the first time in more than a month. It was a sharp relief to allow myself this, like a gasp of air to long-submerged human lungs. Her eyes were closed, and her hands pressed against the sides of her face. Her shoulders curved inward defensively. She shook her head ever so slightly, as if she were trying to push some thought from her mind. Frustrating. Fascinating. Mr. Banner's voice pulled her from her reverie, and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me immediately, perhaps sensing my gaze. She stared up into my eyes with the same bewildered expression that had haunted me for so long. I didn't feel the remorse or the guilt or the rage in that second. I knew they would come again, and come soon, but for this one moment I rode a strange, jittery high. As if I had triumphed, rather than lost. She didn't look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts through her liquid brown eyes. They were full of questions, rather than answers. I could see the reflection of my own eyes, and I saw that they were black with thirst. It had been nearly two weeks since my last hunting trip; this was not the safest day for my will to crumble. But the blackness did not seem to frighten her. She still did not look away, and a soft, devastatingly appealing pink began to color her skin. What was she thinking now? I almost asked the question aloud, but at that moment Mr. Banner called my name. I picked the correct answer out of his head while I glanced briefly in his direction. I sucked in a quick breath. â€Å"The Krebs Cycle.† Thirst scorched down my throat – tightening my muscles and filling my mouth with venom – and I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate through the desire for her blood that raged inside me. The monster was stronger than before. The monster was rejoicing. He embraced this dual future that gave him an even, fifty-fifty chance at what he craved so viciously. The third, shaky future I'd tried to construct through willpower alone had crumbled – destroyed by common jealously, of all things – and he was so much closer to his goal. The remorse and the guilt burned with the thirst, and, if I'd had the ability to produce tears, they would have filled my eyes now. What had I done? Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what I wanted; I turned to stare at the girl again. She had hidden in her hair, but I could see through a parting in the tresses that her cheek was deep crimson now. The monster liked that. She did not meet my gaze again, but she twisted a strand of her dark hair nervously between her fingers. Her delicate fingers, her fragile wrist – they were so breakable, looking for all the world like just my breath could snap them. No, no, no. I could not do this. She was too breakable, too good, too precious to deserve this fate. I couldn't allow my life to collide with hers, to destroy it. But I couldn't stay away from her either. Alice was right about that. The monster inside me hissed with frustration as I wavered, leaning first one way, then the other. My brief hour with her passed all too quickly, as I vacillated between the rock and the hard place. The bell rang, and she started collecting her things without looking at me. This disappointed me, but I could hardly expect otherwise. The way I had treated her since the accident was inexcusable. â€Å"Bella?† I said, unable to stop myself. My willpower already lay in shreds. She hesitated before looking at me; when she turned, her expression was guarded, distrustful. I reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me. That she should. She waited for me to continue, but I just stared at her, reading her face. I pulled in shallow mouthfuls of air at regular intervals, fighting my thirst. â€Å"What?† she finally said. â€Å"Are you speaking to me again?† There was an edge of resentment to her tone that was, like her anger, endearing. It made me want to smile. I wasn't sure how to answer her question. Was I speaking to her again, in the sense that she meant? No. Not if I could help it. I would try to help it. â€Å"No, not really,† I told her. She closed her eyes, which frustrated me. It cut off my best avenue of access to her feelings. She took a long, slow breath without opening her eyes. Her jaw was locked. Eyes still closed, she spoke. Surely this was not a normal human way to converse. Why did she do it? â€Å"Then what do you want, Edward?† The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have quickened. But how to answer her? With the truth, I decided. I would be as truthful as I could with her from now on. I didn't want to deserve her distrust, even if earning her trust was impossible. â€Å"I'm sorry,† I told her. That was truer than she would ever know. Unfortunately, I could only safely apologize for the trivial. â€Å"I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really.† I would be better for her if I could keep it up, continue to be rude. Could I? Her eyes opened, their expression still wary. â€Å"I don't know what you mean.† I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed. â€Å"It's better if we're not friends.† Surely, she could sense that much. She was a bright girl. â€Å"Trust me.† Her eyes tightened, and I remembered that I had said those words to her before – just before breaking a promise. I winced when her teeth clenched together – she clearly remembered, too. â€Å"It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier,† she said angrily. â€Å"You could have saved yourself all this regret.† I stared at her in shock. What did she know of my regrets? â€Å"Regret? Regret for what?† I demanded. â€Å"For not just letting that stupid van squish me!† she snapped. I froze, stunned. How could she be thinking that? Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I'd done since I met her. The one thing that I was not ashamed of. The one and only thing that made me glad I existed at all. I'd been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I'd caught her scent. How could she think this of me? How dare she question my one good deed in all this mess? â€Å"You think I regret saving your life?† â€Å"I know you do,† she retorted. Her estimation of my intentions left me seething. â€Å"You don't know anything.† How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were! She must not think in the same way as other humans at all. That must be the explanation behind her mental silence. She was entirely other. She jerked her face away, gritting her teeth again. Her cheeks were flushed, with anger this time. She slammed her books together in a pile, yanked them up into her arms, and marched toward the door without meeting my stare. Even irritated as I was, it was impossible not to find her anger a bit entertaining. She walked stiffly, without looking where she was going, and her foot caught on the lip of the doorway. She stumbled, and her things all crashed to the ground. Instead of bending to get them, she stood rigidly straight, not even looking down, as if she were not sure the books were worth retrieving. I managed not to laugh. No one was here to watch me; I flitted to her side, and had her books put in order before she looked down. She bent halfway, saw me, and then froze. I handed her books back to her, making sure that my icy skin never touched hers. â€Å"Thank you,† she said in a cold, severe voice. Her tone brought back my irritation. â€Å"You're welcome,† I said just as coldly. She wrenched herself upright and stomped away to her next class. I watched until I could no longer see her angry figure. Spanish passed in a blur. Mrs. Goff never questioned my abstraction – she knew my Spanish was superior to hers, and she gave me a great deal of latitude – leaving me free to think. So, I couldn't ignore the girl. That much was obvious. But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her? That could not be the only available future. There had to be some other choice, some delicate balance. I tried to think of a way†¦ I didn't pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up. He was curious – Emmett was not overly intuitive about the shades in other's moods, but he could see the obvious change in me. He wondered what had happened to remove the unrelenting glower from my face. He struggled to define the change, and finally decided that I looked hopeful. Hopeful? Is that what it looked like from the outside? I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo, wondering what exactly I should be hoping for. But I didn't have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl, the sound of Bella's name in the heads of†¦of my rivals, I suppose I had to admit, caught my attention. Eric and Tyler, having heard – with much satisfaction – of Mike's failure, were preparing to make their moves. Eric was already in place, positioned against her truck where she could not avoid him. Tyler's class was being held late to receive an assignment, and he was in a desperate hurry to catch her before she escaped. This I had to see. â€Å"Wait for the others here, all right?† I murmured to Emmett. He eyed me suspiciously, but then shrugged and nodded. Kid's lost his mind, he thought, amused by my odd request. I saw Bella on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see me for her to pass. As she got closer to Eric's ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace so that I would walk by at the right moment. I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her. She froze for a moment, then relaxed and moved forward. â€Å"Hi, Eric,† I heard her call in a friendly voice. I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious. What if this gangly teen with his unhealthy skin was somehow pleasing to her? Eric swallowed loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing. â€Å"Hi, Bella.† She seemed unconscious of his nervousness. â€Å"What's up?† she asked, unlocking her truck without looking at his frightened expression. â€Å"Uh, I was just wondering†¦if you would go to the spring dance with me?† His voice broke. She finally looked up. Was she taken aback, or pleased? Eric couldn't meet her gaze, so I couldn't see her face in his mind. â€Å"I thought it was girl's choice,† she said, sounding flustered. â€Å"Well, yeah,† he agreed wretchedly. This pitiable boy did not irritate me as much as Mike Newton did, but I couldn't find it in myself to feel sympathy for his angst until after Bella had answered him in a gentle voice. â€Å"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day.† He'd already heard this; still, it was a disappointment. â€Å"Oh,† he mumbled, barely daring to raise his eyes to the level of her nose. â€Å"Maybe next time.† â€Å"Sure,† she agreed. Then she bit down on her lip, as if she regretted leaving him a loophole. I liked that. Eric slumped forward and walked away, headed in the wrong direction from his car, his only thought escape. I passed her in that moment, and heard her sigh of relief. I laughed. She whirled at the sound, but I stared straight ahead, trying to keep my lips from twitching in amusement. Tyler was behind me, almost running in his hurry to catch her before she could drive away. He was bolder and more confident than the other two; he'd only waited to approach Bella this long because he'd respected Mike's prior claim. I wanted him to succeed in catching her for two reasons. If – as I was beginning to suspect – all this attention was annoying to Bella, I wanted to enjoy watching her reaction. But, if it was not – if Tyler's invitation was the one she'd been hoping for – then I wanted to know that, too. I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. He seemed tediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella's preferences? Maybe she liked average boys†¦ I winced at that thought. I could never be an average boy. How foolish it was to set myself up as a rival for her affections. How could she ever care for someone who was, by any estimation, a monster? She was too good for a monster. I ought to have let her escape, but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right. Again. But what if Tyler missed his chance now, only to contact her later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane, blocking her exit. Emmett and the others were on their way, but he'd described my strange behavior to them, and they were walking slowly, watching me, trying to decipher what I was doing. I watched the girl in my rearview mirror. She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy. Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicable behavior. He waved at her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn't notice. He waited a moment, and then left his car, sauntering up to her passenger side window. He tapped on the glass. She jumped, and then stared at him in confusion. After a second, she rolled the window down manually, seeming to have some trouble with it. â€Å"I'm sorry, Tyler,† she said, her voice irritated. â€Å"I'm stuck behind Cullen.† She said my surname in a hard voice – she was still angry with me. â€Å"Oh, I know,† Tyler said, undeterred by her mood. â€Å"I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here.† His grin was cocky. I was gratified by the way she blanched at his obvious intent. â€Å"Will you ask me to the spring dance?† he asked, no thought of defeat in his head. â€Å"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler,† she told him, irritation still plain in her voice. â€Å"Yeah, Mike said that.† â€Å"Then why – ?† she stared to ask. He shrugged. â€Å"I was hoping you were just letting him down easy.† Her eyes flashed, then cooled. â€Å"Sorry, Tyler,† she said, not sounding sorry at all. â€Å"I really am going to be out of town.† He accepted that excuse, his self-assurance untouched. â€Å"That's cool. We still have prom.† He strutted back to his car. I was right to have waited for this. The horrified expression on her face was priceless. It told me what I should not so desperately need to know – that she had no feelings for any of these human males who wished to court her. Also, her expression was possibly the funniest thing I'd ever seen. My family arrived then, confused by the fact that I was, for a change, rocking with laughter rather than scowling murderously at everything in sight. What's so funny? Emmett wanted to know. I just shook my head while I also shook with fresh laughter as Bella revved her noisy engine angrily. She looked like she was wishing for a tank again. â€Å"Let's go!† Rosalie hissed impatiently. â€Å"Stop being an idiot. If you can.† Her words didn't annoy me – I was too entertained. But I did as she asked. No one spoke to me on the way home. I continued to chuckle every now and again, thinking of Bella's face. As I turned on to the drive – speeding up now that there were no witnesses – Alice ruined my mood. â€Å"So do I get to talk to Bella now?† she asked suddenly, without considering the words first, thus giving me no warning. â€Å"No,† I snapped. â€Å"Not fair! What am I waiting for?† â€Å"I haven't decided anything, Alice.† â€Å"Whatever, Edward.† In her head, Bella's two destinies were clear again. â€Å"What's the point in getting to know her?† I mumbled, suddenly morose. â€Å"If I'm just going to kill her?† Alice hesitated for a second. â€Å"You have a point,† she admitted. I took the final hairpin turn at ninety miles an hour, and then screeched to a stop an inch from the back garage wall. â€Å"Enjoy your run,† Rosalie said smugly as I threw myself out of the car. But I didn't go running today. Instead, I went hunting. The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow, but I couldn't afford to be thirsty now. I overdid it, drinking more than necessary, glutting myself again – a small grouping of elk and one black bear I was lucky to stumble across this early in the year. I was so full it was uncomfortable. Why couldn't that be enough? Why did her scent have to be so much stronger than anything else? I had hunted in preparation for the next day, but, when I could hunt no more and the sun was still hours and hours from rising, I knew that the next day was not soon enough. The jittery high swept through me again when I realized that I was going to go find the girl. I argued with myself all the way back to Forks, but my less noble side won the argument, and I went ahead with my indefensible plan. The monster was restless but well-fettered. I knew I would keep a safe distance from her. I only wanted to know where she was. I just wanted to see her face. It was past midnight, and Bella's house was dark and quiet. Her truck was parked against the curb, her father's police cruiser in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the neighborhood. I watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on the east. The front door would probably be locked – not a problem, except that I didn't want to leave a broken door as evidence behind me. I decided to try the upstairs window first. Not many people would bother installing a lock there. I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped. It was her room. I could see her in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her? I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? I wasn't any better. I was much, much worse. I relaxed my fingertips, about to let myself drop. But first I allowed myself one long look at her face. It was not peaceful. The little furrow was there between her eyebrows, the corners of her lips turned down. Her lips trembled, and then parted. â€Å"Okay, Mom,† she muttered. Bella talked in her sleep. Curiosity flared, overpowering self-disgust. The lure of those unprotected, unconsciously spoken thoughts was impossibly tempting. I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time†¦ Next time? I shook my head, disgusted again. I eased myself silently through the half-opened window. Her room was small – disorganized but not unclean. There were books piled on the floor beside her bed, their spines facing away from me, and CDs scattered by her inexpensive CD player – the one on top was just a clear jewel case. Stacks of papers surrounded a computer that looked like it belonged in a museum dedicated to obsolete technologies. Shoes dotted the wooden floor. I wanted very much to go read the titles of her books and CDs, but I'd promised myself that I would keep my distance; instead, I went to sit the old rocking chair in the far corner of the room. Had I really once thought her average-looking? I thought of that first day, and my disgust for the boys who were so immediately intrigued with her. But when I remembered her face in their minds now, I could not understand why I had not found her beautiful immediately. It seemed an obvious thing. Right now – with her dark hair tangled and wild around her pale face, wearing a threadbare t-shirt full of holes with tatty sweatpants, her features relaxed in unconsciousness, her full lips slightly parted – she took my breath away. Or would have, I thought wryly, if I were breathing. She did not speak. Perhaps her dream had ended. I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable. Hurting her was not bearable. Did that mean my only choice was to try to leave again? The others could not argue with me now. My absence would not put anyone in danger. There would be no suspicion, nothing to link anyone's thoughts back to the accident. I wavered as I had this afternoon, and nothing seemed possible. I could not hope to rival the human boys, whether these specific boys appealed to her or not. I was a monster. How could she see me as anything else? If she knew the truth about me, it would frighten and repulse her. Like the intended victim in a horror movie, she would run away, shrieking in terror. I remembered her first day in biology†¦and knew that this was exactly the right reaction for her to have. It was foolishness to imagine that if had I been the one to ask her to the silly dance, she would have cancelled her hastily-made plans and agreed to go with me. I was not the one she was destined to say yes to. It was someone else, someone human and warm. And I could not even let myself – someday, when that yes was said – hunt him down and kill him, because she deserved him, whoever he was. She deserved happiness and love with whomever she chose. I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only in danger of loving this girl. After all, it really didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love. Never. Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mine would. â€Å"Edward,† Bella said. I froze, staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken, caught me here? She looked asleep, yet her voice had been so clear†¦ She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side – still fast asleep and dreaming. â€Å"Edward,† she mumbled softly. She was dreaming of me. Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to. â€Å"Stay,† she sighed. â€Å"Don't go. Please†¦don't go.† She was dreaming of me, and it wasn't even a nightmare. She wanted me to stay with her, there in her dream. I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough to hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them. When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been. My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight? At the time that I had become a vampire, trading my soul and my mortality for immortality in the searing pain of transformation, I had truly been frozen. My body had turned into something more like rock than flesh, enduring and unchanging. My self, also, had frozen as it was – my personality, my likes and my dislikes, my moods and my desires; all were fixed in place. It was the same for the rest of them. We were all frozen. Living stone. When change came for one of us, it was a rare and permanent thing. I had seen it happen with Carlisle, and then a decade later with Rosalie. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that never faded. More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle had found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with the incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be that way for them. It would always be that way for me, too. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my limitless existence. I gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my stone body. She slept more peacefully now, a slight smile on her lips. Always watching her, I began to plot. I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn't that strong now. I would work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way. Alice had seen only two futures for Bella, and now I understood them both. Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes. Yet I could not feel the monster now, could not find him anywhere in me. Perhaps love had silenced him forever. If I killed her now, it would not be intentional, only a horrible accident. I would have to be inordinately careful. I would never, ever be able to let my guard down. I would have to control my every breath. I would have to keep an always cautious distance. I would not make mistakes. I finally understood that second future. I'd been baffled by that vision – what could possibly happen to result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this immortal half-life? Now – devastated by longing for the girl – I could understand how I might, in unforgivable selfishness, ask my father for that favor. Ask him to take away her life and her soul so that I could keep her forever. She deserved better. But I saw one more future, one thin wire that I might be able to walk, if I could keep my balance. Could I do it? Be with her and leave her human? Deliberately, I took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. The room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on every surface. My head swam, but I fought the spinning. I would have to get used to this, if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship with her. I took another deep, burning breath. I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing. I got home just after the others had left for school. I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's questioning eyes. She saw the feverish light in my face, and she felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained her, and she was glad it seemed to be over. I ran to school, arriving a few seconds after my siblings did. They did not turn, though Alice at least must have known that I stood here in the thick woods that bordered the pavement. I waited until no one was looking, and then I strolled casually from between the trees into the lot full of parked cars. I heard Bella's truck rumbling around the corner, and I paused behind a Suburban, where I could watch without being seen. She drove into the lot, glaring at my Volvo for a long moment before she parked in one of the most distant spaces, a frown on her face. It was strange to remember that she was probably still angry with me, and with good reason. I wanted to laugh at myself – or kick myself. All my plotting and planning was entirely moot if she didn't care for me, too, wasn't it? Her dream could have been about something completely random. I was such an arrogant fool. Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn't care for me. That wouldn't stop me from pursuing her, but I would give her fair warning as I pursued. I owed her that. I walked silently forward, wondering how best to approach her. She made it easy. Her truck key slipped through her fingers as she got out, and fell into a deep puddle. She reached down, but I got to it first, retrieving it before she had to put her fingers in the cold water. I leaned back against her truck as she started and then straightened up. â€Å"How do you do that?† she demanded. Yes, she was still angry. I offered her the key. â€Å"Do what?† She held her hand out, and I dropped the key in her palm. I took a deep breath, pulling in her scent. â€Å"Appear out of thin air,† she clarified. â€Å"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant.† The words were wry, almost a joke. Was there anything she didn't see? Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress? She glared at me, not appreciating my humor. Her heartbeat sped – from anger? From fear? After a moment, she looked down. â€Å"Why the traffic jam last night?† she asked without meeting my eyes. â€Å"I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death.† Still very angry. It was going to take some effort to make things right with her. I remembered my resolve to be truthful with her†¦ â€Å"That was for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance.† And then I laughed. I couldn't help it, thinking of her expression yesterday. â€Å"You – † she gasped, and then broke off, appearing to be too furious to finish. There it was – that same expression. I choked back another laugh. She was mad enough already. â€Å"And I'm not pretending you don't exist,† I finished. It was right to keep this casual, teasing. She would not understand if I let her see how I really felt. I would frighten her. I had to keep my feelings in check, keep things light†¦ â€Å"So you are trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?† A quick flash of anger pulsed through me. Could she honestly believe that? It was irrational for me to be so affronted – she didn't know of the transformation that had happened in the night. But I was angry all the same. â€Å"Bella, you are utterly absurd,† I snapped. Her face flushed, and she turned her back on me. She began to walk away. Remorse. I had no right to my anger. â€Å"Wait,† I pleaded. She did not stop, so I followed after her. â€Å"I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm not saying it isn't true† – it was absurd to imagine that I wanted her harmed in any way – â€Å"but it was rude to say it, anyway.† â€Å"Why won't you leave me alone?† Believe me, I wanted to say. I've tried. Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you. Keep it light. â€Å"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me.† A course of action had just occurred to me, and I laughed. â€Å"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?† she asked. It must seem that way. My mood was erratic, so many new emotions coursing through me. â€Å"You're doing it again,† I pointed out. She sighed. â€Å"Fine then. What do you want to ask?† â€Å"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I watched the shock cross her face, and choked back another laugh. â€Å"You know, the day of the spring dance – â€Å" She cut me off, finally returning her eyes to mine. â€Å"Are you trying to be funny?† Yes. â€Å"Will you let me finish?† She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip. That sight distracted me for a second. Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core. I tried to shake them off so I could play my role. â€Å"I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?† I offered. I'd realized that, better than just questioning her about her plans, I might share them. She stared at me blankly. â€Å"What?† â€Å"Do you want a ride to Seattle?† Alone in a car with her – my throat burned at the thought. I took a deep breath. Get used to it. â€Å"With who?† she asked, her eyes wide and bewildered again. â€Å"Myself, obviously,† I said slowly. â€Å"Why?† Was it really such as shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible meaning to my past behavior. â€Å"Well,† I said as casually as possible, â€Å"I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it.† It seemed safer to tease her than to allow myself to be serious. â€Å"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern,† she said in the same surprised voice. She started walking again. I kept pace with her. She hadn't really said no, so I pressed that advantage. Would she say no? What would I do if she did? â€Å"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?† â€Å"I don't see how that is any of your business,† she grumbled. That still wasn't a no. And her heart was beating faster again, her breath coming more quickly. â€Å"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business.† â€Å"Honestly, Edward, I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend.† A thrill shot through me when she spoke my name. How to keep it light and yet be honest at the same time? Well, it was more important to be honest. Especially on this point. â€Å"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be.† â€Å"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up,† she said sarcastically. She paused, under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, and met my gaze again. Her heartbeats stuttered. Was she afraid? I chose my words carefully. No, I could not leave her, but maybe she would be smart enough to leave me, before it was too late. â€Å"It would be more†¦prudent for you not to be my friend.† Staring into the melted chocolate depths of her eyes, I lost my hold on light. â€Å"But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.† The words burned with much too much fervor. Her breathing stopped and, in the second it took for it to restart, that worried me. How much had I scared her? Well, I would find out. â€Å"Will you go to Seattle with me?† I demanded, point blank. She nodded, her heart drumming loudly. Yes. She'd said yes to me. And then my conscious smote me. What would this cost her? â€Å"You really should stay away from me,† I warned her. Did she hear me? Would she escape the future I was threatening her with? Couldn't I do anything to save her from me? Keep it light, I shouted at myself. â€Å"I'll see you in class.† I had to concentrate to stop myself from running as I fled.